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Live in the moment

I'm a thinker, a what if-er. I analyze things to within an inch of their life.

Live in the moment? What's that?

Nothing is straight forward with PKD. The unpredictable nature makes it impossible to create solid plans. And the decisions you think you can make are often conflicting.

Case in point, Tolvaptan. Taking it should slow down kidney decline, delaying my need for dialysis and/or transplant. Yet the older I am before I need a transplant, the higher my Expected Post Transplant Survival score is (a lower score means greater survival rate and, if 20 or less, a high quality kidney). But I'm really hoping to stave off dialysis/transplant until there's a viable implantable artificial kidney.

See what I mean?

I guess the bottom line is that I have to have faith and trust that whatever happens was meant to be.

What are the words from the Serenity Prayer?

God grant me the SERENITY to accept the thing I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference.

I'll start working on that.

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Round 2 deja vu

My doctor decided to keep me at the initial 45/15 mg dose for another months so I'm anticipating a similar water consumption. Here are the first four of seven (?) or eight (?) five gallon bottles of water. My local grocery store has a water bottle fill station for an extremely reasonable 39 cents a gallon. The frugal side of me thinks I should invest in reusable water bottles and take advantage of the savings. The lazy side of me thinks that it'd be a total hassle to wash the bottles, keep bugs and dust from falling into them before I'm able to refill them, remember to take them with me to the store (I can't even remember those reusable shopping bags) and then stockpile a source of bottle caps. It's just so much easier to buy these recyclable five gallon bottles. Lazy beats frugal.
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No denying it

So this happened today. Despite being on Jynarque for over a year. Despite increasing the dosage to 90/30. Despite watching my sodium, drinking gallons of water and losing weight. My creatinine levels continue to trend upwards and my eGFR continues to trend down. It's now at 21. Big sigh. Discussions are underway to determine dialysis modality and whether I can do it at home. A fistula consult with the surgeon has been ordered. And I still wait for the transplant evaluation with Mayo (it was rescheduled due to Covid). So if you know anyone who would be interested in helping out a Type O girl with a donated kidney, please send them my way. Take care.
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Winner Winner!

Mon Apr 1 2019 - Just look what showed up on my doorstep (okay, it was actually a FedEx driver) by 930am this morning! Super, super exciting!!! I had that box open and my first dose taken in no time at all. My biggest concern now is whether taking it at 930am is going to mess with my sleep. They say that it's best to take the first dose as early as possibly (my plan is 6am) so you can take the second dose as early as possible (8 hours later at 2am) so you're not waking up all night having to go to the bathroom. As it is, I won't be taking my second dose until 530pm. Ugh. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, here's what everything looked like when I opened the box (yes, I took time to actually photograph this momentous moment). After the inspection of the non-med part of the box, I set my bottle of water next to me (I was working from home) and I waited. And I waited. How long would it take before I needed to go to the bathroom?!? Turned out to take 45 min...
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